Podcast

Work Is How Men Numb Out

Bad breakup? A few more hours at the office. Dad’s sick? Work a little more. Daniel Rubin says that isn’t dedication. For most men, work is how they numb out.

Peter sits down with Daniel Rubin, a licensed therapist who runs an intensive outpatient program built only for men, for his second time on the show. Recorded the day after the Men on a Mission Foundation launched, the conversation picks up where Episode 007 left off: why most men only get to therapy because a wife or a boss noticed first, why there’s no one-and-done fix (“you needed like 4,000 cries since you were four”), and what happens when the one thing a man leans on gets taken away.

Daniel is open about his own recovery. Peter is open about the five years he spent depressed without a name for it. They also get into retirement, why “money won’t make you happy” never lands until you’ve had it, OnlyFans and AI girlfriends, and the 15 minutes most men refuse to spend looking at a tree.

Chapters

Tap a timestamp to jump the video to that moment.

1. 0:00Daniel Rubin is back
2. 1:19Suicide among men
3. 2:49Four times as likely
4. 3:05Little boys don’t cry
5. 4:41It wasn’t one event
6. 5:23Can I prepay 10 sessions?
7. 6:45Nobody takes time to reflect
8. 8:11Why therapy still carries a stigma
9. 8:54His kids, even the 3-year-old, in therapy
10. 10:19Peter used to call it weakness
11. 11:43When a partner says suck it up
12. 12:25“I don’t feel anything anymore”
13. 13:04Most men don’t see it themselves
14. 14:32Brutal honesty in a marriage
15. 15:51Men don’t trust people
16. 17:11Work has 24/7 access to us
17. 18:25Too scared to ask for a break
18. 20:03Work as a coping mechanism
19. 21:20Where are you going?
20. 22:24The top of the mountain
21. 24:17Saying it out loud
22. 26:55You want judgment
23. 29:01Community and the Foundation pillars
24. 31:00Rethinking the gym
25. 32:36Ask him for help first
26. 33:31When the one thing gets taken
27. 34:05Retirement and the yacht
28. 35:00Money won’t make you happy
29. 38:25OnlyFans and AI girlfriends
30. 42:23Would your kid call you at midnight?
31. 43:58Single parents and community
32. 45:26Why the book matters
33. 47:07Do the hard thing first
34. 48:05What you feed your brain in the morning
35. 50:06Morning routines
36. 51:20Fifteen minutes and a tree
37. 52:05Wrap-up

About the guest

Daniel Rubin is a licensed mental health counselor and the owner of Transcend Wellness, an intensive outpatient program for men only in Wilton Manors, Florida. He is one of the leaders of the Men on a Mission Foundation. This is his second time on the show. Start with Episode 007 if you missed his first.

@transcend_wellness_iop